Week 17 in the library...

YOUR CHANCE TO OWN A PIECE OF cra…HISTORY!
Send me a new non-fiction book for the kids at Ulei (Post to: Ulei Junior Secondary School Library, PMB010, Port Vila, Vanuatu), and I’ll send you our old hilarious one on the same topic!

Here’s some to choose from:

Discovering Computers (1982): “The most powerful computers of the 1990s will be up to a hundred times faster than the present ones. They will fit into a cube a few centimetres in size, and they will have to be kept at about –262 degrees Celsius.” Also, “There could soon be a system in which each person has a special card, with a special number which only the cardholder knows encoded on it magnetically. Whenever a purchase is made, the card is entered into a terminal at the store… The terminal asks the computer to check the shopper’s bank account to make sure there is enough credit.”

Spain, a wonderland of contrasts (1965): “At the airport a pretty uniformed Spanish stewardess helped us from the plane wearing impeccably clean white gloves, all darned and frayed at the fingertips.”

Flutes, whistles and reeds (1962): “Anything hollow holds air. If you set the air inside a hollow object into regular motion, you will hear a pleasant sound.”

The crack and cocaine epidemic (1989): “The actor Stacey Keach spent six months in a British jail because he was caught by Customs with cocaine in his suitcase. It nearly ruined his career.”

Choosing a job: Fireman (1975): “Shirts, socks, shoes and caps are all part of the uniform issue, and a lot of items are replaced annually, so this is a useful ‘perk’.” Also, “Volley ball has become a national sport of firemen and most stations include at least half an hour’s volley ball in the daily routine.” (This books is accompanied by wonderful black and white photos of English sideburns from the 70s).


Last Sunday I had a hangover and it took ages to find a ride home. I bought myself an icypole. I asked a few people for a lift, but nobody was going past Ulei. Finally, a couple of guys I recognised told me they had a truck coming, if I wanted to go and wait on the Tagabe roundabout with them. I hauled my shopping down the road and waited and made small talk. My Bislama is getting better!

“Do you want a cookie?” asked James.
“Just one, thank you,” I replied.
“Why? You don’t eat a lot of sweet things?”
“No, it’s because I drank Tusker last night and now I am a bit sick.”
Everybody laughed. (What? I think I said it correctly!)

Several hours later, a truck arrived, and we all got on the back. The whole way to Ulei people were talking about the horrendous road accidents they have witnessed over the years. Ugh. No seatbelts when you hitch a ride on the back of a truck.

I get back to my hut to find two dead mice on the floor and a giant spider on my bed. Yay.

Reference question of the week: What is static electricity? Thank you Chris Murray for providing the balloons which allowed me to demonstrate! After the demonstration, we looked it up in some science books (“Where do we start? Has anybody used an index before? Ok, let’s try!”) and talked about it. There was an awkward moment when I rubbed my balloon on my head, causing my hair to stand on end, and then said, “Your turn!”, when I realised it kinda doesn’t work with Ni-Vanuatu hair… luckily we all have arm hair! Afterwards the kids said, “Uh, Miss? We didn’t need the balloons or hair, ‘cause it works with a plastic ruler and pieces of paper too…” !!!