Highlights from the school holidays: BRUSH WITH DEATH!
• I got bitten by a dog. It sunk its teeth into my knee and there was a lot of blood and a trip to the doctor (“Looks like a packet of tomato sauce!” said Nick). I’ve had a dog-jaw shaped bruise for a month.
• I stared into the mouth of a volcano with my mum and little bro. Mum spent the whole time text messaging. Nick and I ran back down the hill after a particularly large explosion. The tour guide told us a lump of lava had landed in the carpark the week before, so the bottom of the hill probably wasn’t any safer than the top.
• We saw sea snakes! According to the Lonely Planet, they’re the only dangerous animals in Vanuatu! Apart from dogs, I guess…
Back at school: ANOTHER BRUSH WITH DEATH!
I have to teach English to the Year 7s. ARGHHHH! [bloodcurdling scream]
Yesterday, Miss Iapson (the teacher-librarian I’ve been training) came to tell me she’s too heavily pregnant to continue teaching this year. She’s due, oh, NEXT WEEK. And would I mind teaching Year 7 English? My friend Vanessa said, “She should just give birth in the classroom. That would be educational!” and well, I would agree if it could possibly get me out of this…
I promised myself that I wouldn’t teach again. I’m a librarian, I’m not an English teacher anymore. But they needed me, so in I went. And a squirmier, gigglier, shyer group of Year 7s there has never been before! They just aren’t like that in the library! In the library, with a book in front of them, they’re quiet and they sit still! What is the deal? But I got them up and moving and eventually they calmed down and played an excellent game of Irregular Past Verb Memory, my personal favourite.
The library, in case you’re wondering, is working just fine! But we’re looking for a volunteer for next year to work on getting internet (and, ahem, electricity).
DO YOU LIKE TO GAMBLE?
There are an unknown number of weeks left in Term 3. Officially, Term 3 has 13 weeks. My guess: 8 weeks until they run out of money to feed the kids and everybody abandons the education ship. If you would like a wager on when school finishes, leave me a comment! If I win, you send me a teen-appropriate book! If you win, I send you Medical Careers, published in 1966. Learn all about how to be a “Rehabilitation Gymnast”! Beehive compulsory.
What the rats ate this week: Soap. Freaking expensive Aesop soap that my sister gave me for Christmas. Luckily, they only took a bite and left me the rest.
